Stories and Control

Written by Sydney Miller

mastering the game

“Who we think we are is why we do what we do. We live in our stories, and we live according to them.” 1
~Thomas Asacker

The last blog described the process of perception and reality – how they create our stories.

“Ultimately, we expect to find meaning in our lives by editing our stories, by freely mixing and matching our decisions to create an authentic narrative that represents who we believe we are, to ourselves and to others. And one of the key elements of that creation process is our desire to control it, to be inner-directed and free of influence.” 2


The tool in that creation process is the individuated ego, the one that feels separate from all others and everything in the environment. The ego views life – according to some psychologists -- through the personality of a 5-year old, since our personalities are set by age 5.

Most of what happens in life has little to do with our conscious decisions. We are being pushed and pulled by our environment and our instincts. But we imagine otherwise. We create a meaning-infused narrative to rationalize that we are autonomous, powerful individuals – free to be ourselves and entitled to be treated with respect.” 3

Doesn’t this describe everyone you know? Doesn’t everyone want (and sometimes demand) treatment with respect? Why is that so important?

The answer has to lie in our innate sense of separation. If we are marginalized in any way, our survival is threatened. If we don’t “matter”, we may not get the resources to continue life maintenance (food, water, shelter). And in environments where survival is tenuous, the threat is even greater.

But what if there were no sense of separation, if we felt security in survival in our environments – secure that we were loved and taken care of. Then, issues of control and respect would be unneeded. But how many of us were raised in such an environment? Likely none of us, unless we were raised by enlightening (extremely aware) people. Even stories would be unneeded and greatly diminished, since negative strategies for survival weren’t necessary.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, then, to see how invested we are in our stories and to what great lengths we will go to validate and protect them, which requires control of our environment. However …

“We don’t really want total control and responsibility. We want guided control – based on an empathetic assessment of our feelings and desires – along with the freedom to create our own meaning, our own story, without external pressure or coercion. What we want is the illusion of control.” 4

Now why would our individuated egos want only the illusion of control? As masters of our universe, we need tight control or it could easily unravel, no? Perhaps this is so because “deep down” we know we can’t totally control our universe. We learned this when we cried as a baby, wanting milk or food or comfort and it wasn’t supplied. We learned not to trust. So the fear – and the knowledge – is always present that we can never really fully control our world because we are separate and different from all others.

And we don’t want to, either, because we realize that control requires taking responsibility for everything that happens around us. And that’s just too much … too much effort, too much worry, too many resources required. The intertwined nature of our individual worlds spread too far and too fast. Besides, who wants to be responsible for other people’s misery? Most people don’t even want to take much responsibility for their own lives and constantly blame others for their situations – it’s the government or the politicians, or the lawyers, or whoever thwarts them in a desire.

“Whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you’re probably right.” 5

Mystical Overview

As Master Charles Cannon has said, “Once you get all the garbage sorted out, your illusory database, you have enough self-awareness to at least tell truthful stories. Then you likewise cultivate balance that sustains wakefulness in order that you might enjoy a more truthful experience of reality … and get to the non-serious radical play of the bliss of consciousness.

Consciousness is all and everything … and it’s radical. A radical consciousness creating itself newly in each moment is entertained with its play. And what is the play of consciousness? Manifestation, 50-billion simultaneous universes. Why? For the fun of it!

Consciousness is entertained by its play, all the happenings of 50-billion simultaneous universes right down to you and your little life drama. From the perspective of consciousness, you are radically entertaining. A witnessing consciousness is always watching its play. It’s always in the audience.

mastering the game

Whether it’s a tragedy on the stage or a comedy, the audience doesn’t care. They’re entertained. Nothing like a good tragedy! Also a good comedy! Consciousness is forever radical, entertained by the whole of its manifestation which is itself. From the perspective of consciousness, it’s all one big joke. To take it seriously is egoic illusion.

You need to remind yourself of these truths when you get into your serious stories about what is happening. The serious stories are illusory stories. Life is a joyous energy, a play of consciousness, for its entertainment. It is radically delighting in each new now nano-second of its happening. There is nothing serious going on here! 6


1. Thomas Asacker, “The Business of Belief: How the World's Best Marketers, Designers, Salespeople, Coaches, Fundraisers, Educators, Entrepreneurs and Other Leaders Get Us to Believe” (Amazon Digital Services, Inc. 2013), pg. 42.

2. Ibid, pg. 42

3. Ibid, pg. 45

4. Ibid, pg. 46

5. Ibid, pg. 54

6. Master Charles Cannon in program dialogues.

About the Author

Sydney Miller

Sydney Miller

Syd Miller lives at the Synchronicity Sanctuary in Virginia, the international headquarters of Synchronicity Foundation, and is one of the founding members.  She met Master Charles Cannon when he was still with his teacher and has been with him ever since.  Her gratefulness for Master Charles and his work is reflected in this blog which focuses on "Reality 3.0 ... Harnessing Technology for the Evolution of Consciousness."