I have been critical of my obsessions today. When I make my bed it must be exactly right. All the little roses have to line up on the duvet. The pillows go in a particular order and must be rotated every second day! As I walk down the hallway I am straightening up the many pictures that hang there. I tweak the mat in the lounge back into a perfect alignment.
I smile as I survey my handiwork because as a young teenager I was very, very messy. I can still hear my mother’s voice, “Go and tidy your room immediately.”
Something must have gotten through because here I am again placing all the knives and forks the same way in the drawer and lining up the glasses in descending sizes. My husband tells me it’s my need to feel in control, and I suspect he’s right. I tell him it’s because I’m basically lazy and this way I don’t have to think because I know where everything is and I can even find it in the dark.
So, the voice in my head today has been critical and I am putting myself down for my obsessions. Many years ago Master Charles gave me an exercise. It goes like this. Each morning, when you have taken off your night clothes and before you get dressed, stand in front of your mirror, hold your arms out wide, look yourself in the eyes and say “YES” !!! Every time I do this I end up collapsed in laughter. My self-criticisms dissolve and I love myself as I am.