“I asked for all things so that I might enjoy life. I was given life so that I might enjoy all things.” (Unknown)
Why do you suffer in the involutionary cycle? Because the involutionary cycle is based on the illusion of separation, and if you separate the two relative polarities—subject and object—you create conflict, and conflict always results in suffering. The more you acquire, the more content-identity you have, the more content-miserable you are. Content impermanence is conflict and suffering. It doesn’t work. Your toys break. Your relationships fail. Your friends change. Your education is insufficient. It’s impermanent … it’s illusion … and it’s not fun. And when you are broken within your content-identity, you come knocking on my door.
At this point you are full in the experience of what you are not and you are miserable. Born of this extreme within the involutionary cycle—usually the first half of your life—you’re also very tired when you wind up on my doorstep. You’re exhausted. It’s a tedious process. It takes its toll. But in the fullness of what you are not, the fullness of your misery and suffering, awakening happens. Perhaps it’s because you just can’t bear another minute of it. It’s so utterly unfulfilling. Then awakening happens, born of a questioning that says, “There’s got to be more than this. Is this what life is really all about? I’m miserable and suffering and everything that I acquired is not fulfilling. Who am I, anyway”?
“I asked for all things so that I might enjoy life.” Well, that didn’t work! Quite a mess! I have all my things all around me plus all the trashy trail behind me. Now I recognize that perhaps “I was given life so that I might enjoy all things.” Perhaps life comes first. Perhaps essence is what it’s all about. Perhaps it’s all about the truth of who I am as an embodiment of life. Perhaps it is that without life, I have nothing. Values shift. I recognize the ultimate value of life, of consciousness.
Born of this misery, this questioning, comes an opening—an opening to that which might be truthful—to that which might be real. You open to that which might be the truth of who you are. You have fully experienced who you are not. Now you open to the experience of who you truly are. It is this milestone, this point between the involutionary and evolutionary cycles that is the point of awakening.
And born of my awakening, the evolutionary cycle begins to unfold. Through the evolutionary cycle of my consciousness, I progressively dismantle my ego-driven mind and its illusory database that I built in the involutionary cycle. I divest myself of impermanence and invest myself into that which is permanent. In this understanding the second half is really the cycle of renunciation. Throw it all away. Get rid of it all. Simplify. Withdraw from the content of life into the essence of life. Remember that the measure of evolution in individuated consciousness is self-awareness. So how wakeful are you … right here and right now. Take your self-awareness temperature and see how much you have evolved, how aware you are right where your feet are, and remind yourself of what is true value. Invest in that which is permanent, the consciousness that you are and your awareness of the consciousness that you are, that is all.